Today, I met a man who, despite having nothing to do with my profession, taught me more than I could ever know about my industry and where it's headed.
This Mr. Wendal said more with each hilarious side comment than any professor could with an hour long speech. He couldn't even spell "condition" yet was more painfully aware of the human condition than any philosopher could ever elucidate. He might spend his time and money on frivolous things, yet is more aware of the needs and obligations of raising a family than any parent of the year ever will be. He doesn't even read, for God's sake, yet he knows, perhaps unwittingly, exactly why the world's best publications are closing shop.
I've often been proud of my pursuits and what I've managed to achieve as a result. Yet this unassuming fellow has managed to show me, with the kind of brevity and wit that I've always aspired to achieve, that in the end, it's all for naught.
I'm not much of a horror movie fan (give me a minute as I get to my point), as my picks wouldn't likely make it to any true horror aficionado's top 10 list. Perhaps it's because, horror movies, the kind that scare me at least, give a glimpse of the frightening extremes of the human psyche. I had nightmares about the apes in "Congo" (don't laugh) and am oddly intrigued and horrified by the villains in "Event Horizon" and "Sunshine". Yet of all the movies that could send a chill down my spine, the one that succeeds without fail, each and every instance I watch it, could hardly be classified as a horror flick at all. It's called "Idiocracy."
If you haven't watched it, it's alright. This is all you really need to know:
And while you're watching, take note of Clevon.
Please ignore my comment about it being my top horror movie pick for a moment, and feel free to laugh. I still do too. Just as I did with each and every joke Clevon's real life counterpart cracked during our meeting. Yet with each jest slowly came the realization that, as much as I tried to deny it, he was the target market of my publication. And if I want to continually be employed, I will have to cater it towards him. After all, if I don't, someone else will. A few publications already have, and they continue to reap the benefits to this day.
I never really understood why, yet was always a bit jealous at the mediocre rag's success, as opposed to the depth and breadth of my literary opus, up until I had this chance to observe clever Clevon do his thing, without pretensions or any desire to please. The epiphany came when I compared how he browsed through a magazine to how I would browse one. And the startling reality was that there was absolutely no difference.
We're all only human, after all, and that is the most horrific thing about it.
I may not live long enough to see the grim picture of the future that "Idiocracy" paints. Mortality may very well be humanity's greatest gift. Yet while my time has not arrived, grant me a moment to weep for my gender. And a few weeks to weep for the slow and painful demise of humankind.
It's rather ironic how we have battled insurmountable odds to become the dominant species on the planet, only to allow evolution, the very means by which we have become dominant, to be our downfall.
Bill Watterson once said that the greatest proof that there is intelligent life out there is the fact that they haven't contacted us. They're afraid they might get infected. The plague of the century isn't AIDS or cancer. It's stupidity. It's genetic (well, partially), it's contagious, and it's spreading. God help us all.
